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Notes From the Underground
By Arwen Curry

[whitespace] The Look of Love:
Even gutter punks get the urge toward fashion and frolic

ARE YOU TOO SEXY For your Gwar shirt? Here are some sizzling looks that will make jaws drop this Valentine's Day. Rush to Thrifty Cuts and ask for the Friar Tuck monk cut. Shaved clean in the middle and rustically tapered on the outside ("I ain't punk--I'm monk!"). Hey, you Goths! The classically romantic Flock of Seagulls cut can still work wonders today. Spice things up tenfold by dressing like Steven Seagal (the chef/ninja look is fiery hot in '98!)

Still screaming at the wall for a new look? The true judge of straightedge is growing a handlebar mustache (ladies, too) and criss-crossing an X out of it. Fugazi sports 'em, why not you? Or for true rockabilly types, pour four quarts of Castrol GTX (remember to use 1040 weight to combat El Niño) over your pompadour, lube up your sideburns and go, daddy, go. Dreads and liberty spikes are under-utilized--you've got to cross-train them. Tie lovemaking toys around each dreadlock (crotchless Depends, NC-17 Gallagher videos) and shake your ennui-maker. Or mold your bangs into a gigantic Tupperware bowl and serve Jell-O (creme Biafra) to your mate in bed.
Matt Koumaras

Do-It-Yourself Spice

Recently, two of my best friends and favorite punks were raving about Spiceworld. "I just love the Spice Girls," squealed Nicole, "They're such sluts."

"Why do you think all the guys you know went to the movie?" Lumpy retorted, emitting a low chuckle. Oh, the iniquity! the Spice Girls have been used!

But despite my derisive snorts, I sat through an entire TV special touting the "in-your-face cheerfulness" of the UK's latest media-blitz darlings.

So why the Spice? Is our committed partnership with DIY culture threatened by the sordid pleasure we derive from Baby Spice's obscene little ponytails? Are we, egads ... adulterers? Nah, that's the Girls' difficult 15-minute mission to perform the public pelvic-thrust, since Mick Jagger is getting a little advanced in years and the Gen-Xers keep landing in un-sexy places like rehab and the morgue.

Still we can be saved by True Romance--so long as an adolescent Holden Caulfield runs around in our collective libido, muttering "phony" and waiting for Jane to put her hand on the back of his neck in the movie theater.
Arwen Curry

Upcumming

On Thursday, check out the 320A house for the Great Divide and others (7pm). On Friday, Spaceboy, Astron and friends play at Palookaville (look for fliers). Also on Friday, SPFU, the What-Nots and the Muggs play at UCSC's Whole Earth (5pm). And on Valentine's Day, P.A.W.N.S. and Political Silence play at Streetlight (7pm, free).

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From the February 12-18, 1998 issue of Metro Santa Cruz.

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