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[whitespace] Exhibit A: 'Concussion' No. 8 flaunts law and order, promoting vandalism on wheels as well as evil, Pat Boone-tainting music.


Head Injuries Of the Apocalypse

Skate-punk zine 'Concussion': Reading is funda-mental

By Matt Koumaras

CONCUSSION NO. 8. This is Deputy Phineas T. Hogg of the SCPD. While arresting a skater doing ollies over helpless canes at the Mid-County Senior Center, I confiscated the eighth issue of Concussion. Eight is enough! Slap that "Skateboarding is not a crime" sticker on your mom's station wagon, but you're in serious violation of city ordinance. Hobby or sport, skateboarding is vandalism on wheels.

I liked the massive collage of local tattoo artists' work. Get used to it, skaters--you'll be seeing tons of tattoos soon because you're all prison-bound. These Iron Maiden and Nashville Pussy reviews prove how evil music has become. You've even tainted Pat Boone. I did like the history-of-punk story--that Hank Rollins sure would be a fine addition to our force. You stoner surfers are covered in here, too. You may call it Sex Wax, but the boys in blue know it's street nomenclature for "nose candy." We've been documenting your tanned, hard bodies glistening in rebellion around Pleasure Point as part of an elaborate sting operation.

Back to skaters: Wear all the helmets you want, even that meat helmet you pilfered from the GWAR show, but we'll make sure you get a concussion of a different kind. Next week at Officer Ferrell's House, I'll discuss the future ban on "dancing." If you see Kevin Bacon, tell him his ass is mine.

P.S.: You might think your little plan for a skate park has succeeded, but have we got a surprise for you! Once you enter its sultry domain, we'll cage you and force you into a seagull-feces-cleaning job at the Boardwalk for eternity and a day. Contact: Concussion, P.O. Box 1024, Santa Cruz, 95061 or visit http://www.concussion.org.

CD Review: Dojo, 'Apocalypse ... When?'

This epic CD is totalitarian music guaranteed to warp your mind with epileptic vocal jingles, brutal guitar exorcisms and big-ass drums that knock that burger right from Bob's Big Boy's trusty grip. Touches of Faith No More, a dash of Ministry and a little Captain Beefheart equate to one hell of a twisted carriage ride.

Francis' guitar carves sharp riffs into the heart of progressive darkness. Mr. Chino's multi-octaved raps on "Riddle of Steel" have started procreating on me. Don't let the punk rock academy know or I'll lose the G.B.H. patch on my sweat jacket. "Rearranging Myself" conjures freakier visions than walking down the hall at night and seeing the twins from The Shining, only to realize they're actually Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen armed with microphones. Even when rhythms get tricky as spaghetti, this still beats the uninventive on every count. Contact: Dojo, 1385 Hudson Ave., San Francisco, 94124 or visit http://www.ambush.com/dojo.

Upcoming

Thursday, Thumbs Down, Branch Out, Live Wire and No One play the Catalyst; Friday, Schlep and Cold Rolled Coil play the Jury Room; Saturday, Limp, Thumbs Down, Loadstar and SMAK play the SC Vets Hall; also Saturday, Nuzzle, Sin in Space, Sweet Nothing and 40 Acre play Callahan's; also Saturday, Dilligaf, Sunfur, T Minus 1 and LSP play a Vamp Magazine showcase at the Brookdale Lodge; Sunday, Spaceboy and Lost Cause play Moe's Alley.

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From the February 23-March 1, 2000 issue of Metro Santa Cruz.

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