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[whitespace] The Dalai Lollie

Don't worry, be happy, and put those Patsy Cline albums away

By Tai Moses

IS THERE ANYONE who hasn't done time in the heartbreak hotel? You know the place--sagging curtains, gloomy lighting, no view.

Healing unhappy hearts is one of the reasons Lollie McLain created www.lollie.com/romance.html, a compilation of the author's compassionate, sensible and sometimes salty advice for the lovelorn and the lonely.

"It all boils down to fish or cut bait," she tells the romantically ambivalent. And to the jilted and the brokenhearted: "Stop listening to tearjerking, obsessive songs," and, "Hurting for months or years after someone is long gone is just foolish." Pain is necessary, she adds; suffering is optional. To get through the rough times, she prescribes "emotional painkillers," like a romp with a litter of collie puppies: "Cover up with those puppies and I dare you to be depressed!"

Lollie's stated mission on earth is to increase happiness and decrease unnecessary emotional suffering. If that sounds a bit like the Dalai Lama, that's because both Lollie and the Dalai are essentially saying the same thing: Take responsibility for your own happiness. The only difference I can see is that Lollie McLain is a 45-year-old single grandmother who wears sensible shoes, lives in a mobile home in Tahlequah, Oklahoma, and would never be able to sell out the Shoreline Amphitheatre.

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From the June 13-20, 2001 issue of Metro Santa Cruz.

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