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We've Had Enough: Jennifer Lopez studies the sweet science in order to pummel her creepy ex in the aptly named 'Enough.'

Don't Worry, We'll Think of an Ad Campaign*

Jennifer Lopez. Everyone has a limit. Enough.

By Richard von Busack

The ads promote a summer film in which Jennifer Lopez fights off a battering ex-boyfriend (Billy Campbell). But anyone who saw Angel Eyes could have plastered them all over creation--or it could have been P. Diddy, Mariah Carey or thousands of National Enquirer readers who've had enough of J-Lo.

That the ads are hanging at BART stations makes the campaign all the funnier. BART stations are the advertising court of last resort, where flopped movies still bray their come-ons to tired, bitter commuters, long after they've left the theaters and headed for video oblivion.

But what the Enough ad campaign really says is "Crunch time came for us, we the copywriters, and alas, we were not visited by the Angel of Market Penetration."

The same is true for the Men in Black II ad: "Same Planet, New Scum"--so much like the coffee mug legend "Same shit, different day" that it hurts.

Here are some other taglines for use by the tired ad-agency writers. Don't thank me. There but for the grace of God (and gracewise, He's not Fred Astaire, is He?):

Sequel 2: Revenge of the Sequel
This Time, It's Contractually Obligated!

Scooby Doo
You Won't Believe This Dog Doo!

Angelina Jolie
Take a Pill or Something. Enough.

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
(Nope. Can't do it. Too easy.)

Same Aaron Eckhart, Different Scum

The Powerpuff Girls Movie
Now With 100 Percent More Irony!

Lilo & Stitch
David Ogden Stiers' Voice As You've Never Heard It Before!

It'll Try to Keep You Awake!

*This sidebar is named in honor of the 1966 film Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title.

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From the May 16-22, 2002 issue of Metro, Silicon Valley's Weekly Newspaper.

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