[Metroactive Movies]

[ Movies Index | Show Times | Silicon Valley | Metroactive Home | Archives ]

[whitespace] The Hairless Club for Men

Hollywood's new breed of stars scrambles to be on top of Old Baldy

VIN DIESEL, Matthew McConaughey--not since the heyday of Yul Brynner has baldness been so bad and beautiful. Everywhere you turn, stars are losing their locks faster than Samson--but the new look is all about power, not impotency. Metro's tonsorial experts rate the chrome domes.

Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel
Recent Sighting: XXX (opens Aug. 9)
Occupation: "A new breed of secret agent"
Catchphrase: "The things I'm gonna do for my country"
Gleam Factor: The new gold standard for Hollywood cue balls. Even his director is bald.

Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey
Recent Sighting: Van Zan in Reign of Fire
Occupation: Freelance dragon slayer
Catchphrase: "I lead, you follow."
Gleam Factor: Will he keep the clean look? Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando
Recent Sighting: Col. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now Redux
Occupation: "A poet/warrior in the classic sense"
Catchphrase: "The horror, the horror"
Gleam Factor: Forever amber--the light at the end of the Vietnam-movie tunnel

Michael Chiklis

Michael Chiklis
Recent Sighting: The Shield
Occupation: Hard-boiled LAPD detective
Catchphrase: "Good cop/bad cop left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop."
Gleam Factor: Best TV baldy since Daniel Benzali in Murder One

Dr. Evil, Mini-Me and Scott Evil

Dr. Evil, Mini-Me and Scott Evil
Recent Sighting: Austin Powers in Goldmember
Occupation: Supervillain, sidekick and supervillain son
Catchphrase: "Throw me a friggin' bone, will ya?"
Gleam Factor: Three bald heads are better than one

Send a letter to the editor about this story .

[ Silicon Valley | Metroactive Home | Archives ]

From the August 8-14, 2002 issue of Metro, Silicon Valley's Weekly Newspaper.

Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc. Metroactive is affiliated with the Boulevards Network.

For more information about the San Jose/Silicon Valley area, visit sanjose.com.