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The Twelve Days of Spam

A new seasonal classic sung to the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'

By Michael S. Gant

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me,
A toner cartridge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me,
Two penis patches,
And a toner cartridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me,
Three Paris videos,
Two penis patches,
And a toner cartridge in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me,
Four credit cards,
Three Paris videos,
Two penis patches,
And a toner cartridge in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me
Five e ... Bay ... tips,
Four credit cards,
Three Paris videos,
Two penis patches,
And a toner cartridge in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me,
Six babes a-panting,
Five e ... Bay ... tips,
Four credit cards,
Three Paris videos,
Two penis patches,
And a toner cartridge in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love emailed me,
Seven rates a-dropping.
Eight babes a-panting.
Nine Nigerians bilking.
Ten rods a-swelling.
Eleven scammers scamming.
Twelve spammers spamming.
(Repeat)
...
And a toner cartridge in a pear tree.


Send a letter to the editor about this story to letters@metronews.com.

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From the December 18-24, 2003 issue of Metro, Silicon Valley's Weekly Newspaper.

Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc. Metroactive is affiliated with the Boulevards Network.

For more information about the San Jose/Silicon Valley area, visit sanjose.com.




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