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Tara Talks XY and XX

Dear Tara,
Many of my friends think you are a drag queen, and not a real girl at all. My response to this is: So what? You are so beautiful with your pigtails and your little pout that I masturbate thinking about you whenever I get a moment's privacy, and sometimes even when I don't. So what if your chromosomes spell "xy" instead of "xx." Girl, either way you're either SEXY or SEXX.
Signed, Take Me, Tara

Dear Take,
I don't want to spill ALL of my secrets, but I will give you a little hint: When I come, I really climax. OK, enough about me. I would like to take this opportunity, however, to praise you on your open-mindedness. Why should a little thing like genitals stop us cold in our tracks? Wouldn't the world be a better place if ALL the props of our identity were kicked out from under us? Imagine existing with no gender, race, class, cultural background, etc. No name, no job, no sign of the zodiac--nothing. I think we should all be little puffs of air interpenetrated by our sibling puffs of air at all times. We would still be intelligent, of course, and we'd all be having these great ideas constantly. OK, that sounds a little boring. How about if we were made out of pure sound and communicated to each other by means of beautiful arias? We would live communally in vast symphony-cities, and we would travel around in little cars made out of musical fugues, and ... and ...

All right, so maybe that's a little whack, but at least I'm TRYING to come up with something fresh and different, a future where there's a little hope and freedom, maybe. Excuse me for being a dreamer. You guys want boring old regular advice, you got it. You just killed Utopia--are you happy now?

Take, here it goes: I am cute, I do pout, your friends blow, masturbation rocks. "Chromosome" comes from two ancient Greek words, but I'm not going to tell you which ones. Look it up yourself--that's the best way to make a vocabulary word your own.
Till next time, Tara

Can't get enough of Miss T? Well, check out her "Most Spiritual Show Ever," where you'll find new video adventures each week, and your video horoscope!

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From the January 18, 1999 issue of the Metropolitan.

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