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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Dear Miss Pinkie Shears,
What do you think is the nicest kind of flower to give my date? Roses seem so cliché, not to mention a bit too serious. Do you think that the whole concept is a little old-fashioned?
--Faltering Florist

Dear F.F.,
Presenting your date with the snipped-off sex organs of another species might not be the best way to make a favorable first impression, but I think it's splendid. A few tips: no baby's breath. It's a tacky filler. Overly large bouquets tend to make you seem a bit like a stalker. Think "a bunch" not "a whole lot." Choose one type of flower, like tulips, dahlias or freesia. Arrangements seem too arranged. It is also important to know or learn the name of the flower you will be giving. Also, corsages and boutonnieres are for weddings and proms; forcing a corsage on a date is to risk their dislike of the flower becoming their dislike of you. As for roses, don't discount them. I think I should positively melt if my date presented me with a bunch of fresh, fragrant buds and said, "These are from my garden."

Dear Pinkie Shears,
Fashion magazines are always full of "must have" lists. How much should I pay attention to these lists to be considered fashionable? Should I make sure to have at least two items? Four? Seven? All?
--Ashley DuPree

Dear Ms. DuPree,
I swear if I had a diamond for every time I was asked this question, I could make DeBeers seem like the Shane Company. Fashion is an industry as well as an expression, and economics demand that consumers are first made to feel constantly inadequate and then given the hope of deliverance every three months or so. If gray and slim were all the rage for fall, it must be pink and A-line for spring, just so that consumers will have to go out and buy. The only "must have" that fashion requires is that you choose. I just ask that you please stop and think before you step into something. As practice thinking, consider the following descriptions: Fedora, black motorcycle jacket and long-flowing white silk scarf. Classic Ferragamo heels, gold-buttoned boiled wool suit and silk ascot. Baseball cap, Alma Mater sweatshirt and relaxed-fit khakis. High-tech trainers, slim, knee-length skirt and coat. Skintight short-sleeved shirt, oversized pants and ball chain choker. Baby tee, narrow, bootcut cropped pants and square, high-heeled ankle boots. Navy suit, white shirt and yellow tie. Tube top, hot pants and knee-high platform boots. Whether these getups were on you or someone else, you had an idea of the type of person who would fit these descriptions. Do you really want to be the person you are dressed as today? I thought not.

In need of advice? Send all queries and comments to Miss Pinkie Shears at San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St, San Francisco, 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the February 15, 1999 issue of the Metropolitan.

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