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[whitespace] The Cookie Monster

By Twinkle Jackson

I ran into an alumnus from college at a recent party. We exchanged pleasantries and decided to go out Friday night. When I called him from work to find out the ETA, he couldn't offer any plan: where, when, what to eat--no opinions on anything really. So, I made the call--a 9pm movie at my house, Bailey's on the rocks and a party around the corner afterward. Things went relatively smoothly. We came back from the party and sat on my living-room couch. He gave me that glassy-eyed, tilted-head, I'm-moving-in-for-the-kiss face. All I could think was how he didn't bring anything over--no six-pack, no wine, nothing. He didn't offer to feed me or even rent Cool Hand Luke. I did all the preparation. All he did was wait the evening out for the obligatory kiss. As he stuck his head out and puckered, I got up and went into the kitchen to make some cookies.

When I re-entered the living room, I sat in the armchair, leaving him solo on the sofa. He started in on his semi-charmed kinda life--classic denial from an obvious malcontent trust-fund baby.

"Don't you feel you can have anything you want?" he asked slyly.

I told him I did not.

"Well, I feel like I can have anything I want," he smugged.

"Almost anything," I corrected and fetched the cookies.

I placed four on a plate and the fifth in a napkin and returned to the living room. Handing him a cookie to-go, I told him I had had a lovely evening. He stood up with his coat as I grabbed the door knob.

He made the kissy face again and aimed for my lips. I planted one on his scrawny neck.

"Don't I even get one kiss?" he asked.

I told him I couldn't even give him that. If you're gonna expect something ... you better bring something. In fact, always bring something x

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From the March 20, 2000 issue of the Metropolitan.

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