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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Dear Miss Shears,
On really gusty days in San Francisco, I can't seem to find anything to control my hair. What can I do? I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Miss Hairbrain

Dear Miss Hairbrain,
Before I reveal to you my little secret--which incidentally you may find a bit shocking--I must tell you that every girlfriend I have recommended this to has absolutely raved about my simple solution. Every spring all I hear is "Pinkie, you genius!" and "Your wisdom is truly celestial." So, if you notice the wind picking up a bit, simply kick off your knickers. You'll find the breeze so refreshing and invigorating, I assure you you'll not think of the hair on your head.

Dear Pinkie,
What do you think about Martha Stewart? Do you think she's pretty?
Curious in Connecticut

Dear Martha,
You know, I find you to be a nice enough person, but you must be a bit deranged to write me "secretly" to find out what I think of you. I know my opinions are held in high regard, but let's face facts: at Squeakie's dinner last month, you refolded every napkin between courses and insisted on aiding the chef in deglazing her pans. As if the chef at La Grenouille can't help herself! Pretty or not, it seems you need a long, tranquil steamship voyage to clear your head and perhaps to regain some semblance of sagesse.

P.S. Engraved stationery is never a wise choice for an anonymous letter.

Dear Pinkie,
I've decided I want to seem more hip, and I thought a leather blazer might help. But before I buy one, I wanted your opinion. So, what do you think?
Anonymous

Dear Anon,
I think your idea sounds spectacular. Be sure to find one with oversized shoulder pads as well as a stake and extra kindling, that we may burn you alive.


In need of advice? Send all queries and comments to Miss Pinkie Shears at San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St., SF, 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

Also, a contest reminder: Entries are pouring in, but there's still time for your essay on the difference between fashion and style. The winner receives a free subscription to the San Francisco Metropolitan.


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From the April 20-May 3, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc. Maintained by Boulevards New Media.


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