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House of Cards

[whitespace] Tarot, Not Temping

By Mark Ewert

You're an investment banker, but you daydream about nuzzling baby lettuces on your own organic farm. As a schoolteacher, you spend the day barking at first-graders, but your throat yearns to sing arias professionally. Ah yes, career changes. You know you want to make one--you're dying to--but you're just so damn scared. But, kids, there's no need for jitters when Uncle Mark's around. So sit tight and listen up. Hark! Is that your dream job approaching?

tarot card The Present-Six of Wands
(Self-confidence leading to success)

Yes, yes, I know it's scary to leave a job that you hate, but which at least pays the bills, in order to pursue what may just be a pipe dream. But, guess what, you're never going to not be afraid: making a shift like this is legitimately scary. Still, in the words of Nike, "Just do it." (Did you forget that Nike was the Greek goddess of victory?)

tarot card The Future-Nine of Swords
(Anguish, regret)

Fine, don't listen to me. You didn't take a risk, you didn't "Just do it." Now you're 48 years old and STILL trapped in a job you hate. You have ulcers and a hernia and can't sleep at night, your spouse is about to dump you 'cause you're so dreary to be around and your kids are on drugs. You're going to go to your grave saying, "Gee, I never really did what I wanted to in life. I didn't even try. ..."

tarot card The Past-Ace of Pentacles
(New career, new money)

Strangely enough, your opportunity to change ships professionally has already occurred. What happened? Review your affairs of the last two and a half years. You started working toward your dream--who dropped the ball? Well, don't worry about it, it's still out there--a little soggy perhaps, but still good. Fetch, Rover, fetch!

It sure sucks being you. I'm sorry you decided that the threat of potential discomfort was even worse than the crap you were already putting up with. Better hope things turn out better next life ... .

Mark Ewert is a professional card reader and can be reached for readings at 415.252.9321. To submit topical questions, email [email protected]

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From the June 7, 1999 issue of the Metropolitan.

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