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House of Cards

[whitespace] Beggar's Banquet

By Mark Ewert

Ok, so you took my advice last issue and decided to make a bold new career move, possibly even forsaking easy money to pursue something you love. And now you're mad as hell at me 'cause money's too tight to mention? Well, excuse me, but I never told you to hand over your will to some columnist who writes for some local rag.

However, being the all-compassionate bodhisattva that I am--not only do I meditate, I also do yoga (and I used to go out with Allen Ginsberg)--I will show mercy and pull some cards pertaining to how to best beef up your earning power, in your risky new career. Attendez!

All right, my dears. The first card is the Queen of Swords, whose message is "No Guilt and No Shame." So what if you're not making a quarter of the dough that everyone you went to high school with is. So what if your yuppie siblings already own property and not one but two SUVs. Are you living your life or someone else's? Don't make me and the Sword Queen (a.k.a. Xena) come over there and kick your self-pitying ass.

Ten of Pentacles: Wealth is all around you, babe, just reach out your hands. Filthy lucre. It's so omnipresent, in fact, you're overlooking all the possible sources. I mean, hello, start by asking your yuppie siblings for some handouts! (It'll make 'em feel socially conscious.) Even your poorer friends are full of good marketing, etc., ideas--throw a brainstorming party, and believe me, you all will generate a hundred and one money-making ideas. Now get out there, tiger!

The Seven of Pentacles: Patience, hon. Now would be a good time to go read Farmer Boy or anything else by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I think of 8-year-old Alonzo and how carefully he tended his little baby pumpkin for months, feeding it with milk, for God's sake. Dude, our ancestors worked--and worked hard--just to sustain themselves. You're going to whine just 'cause you can't eat out at Millennium every night already? Hey, your persistence will pay off. Alonzo's lactose-pumped pumpkin got a blue ribbon.

Mark Ewert is a professional card reader and can be reached for readings at 415.252.9321. To submit topical questions, email [email protected]

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From the June 21, 1999 issue of the Metropolitan.

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