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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Dear Pinkie,
I met a really great guy at a party. He was funny, smart, cute, no boy/girlfriend and he seemed to really like me, too, 'cause he asked me out--basically fit the profile of the perfect guy. So why am I writing you? Well, this party was a costume party. I was dressed as a vampire and this guy was dressed as a lamp. My assessment of his style and cute factor included a lampshade and some tassels. It in no way could take into account the cut-off mesh high school football jersey with matching sweatband and acid-washed jeans in which he picked me up for our big date. I don't want to be shallow about looks, but I think that was a bit much to handle. The date was nice and he was still funny and interesting, but I couldn't get away from feeling embarrassed that I was with this total fashion freak. He asked me out again. What should I do?

Dear Hesitating,
This does sound like a rather unfortunate situation. I'm afraid that unless your friend was once again in costume, doing laundry, feeling nostalgic, treating you to a Poison reunion concert or testing you, he may be less than concerned about current trends in sportswear. You may not want to be shallow, but sometimes we cannot have what we want. You can of course simply change him. Why not treat him to a surprise makeover on a morning talk show? Stylists are wonderful for simply turning one kind of fashion faux pas into another. Your friend could be stuffed into some pleat-front chinos and a chambray button-down with a folded sweater about his neck, topped off by "intellectual" glasses. Or better yet, a blazer and T-shirt, tucked in and belted, with a pair of crocodile dress loafers, Hollywood style. Ideally, the stylist would try for whatever streetwear look the younger set is sporting these days and end up using garments like the vocabulary of parents who, in a pitiful attempt to communicate, ask their children if Back Street Boys are "dope"--dreadfully embarrassing for all involved. I do wonder that you did not take the trouble to share with me what you wore for your first date. It's all right, dear, I'm sure your tastes are beyond reproach.

Don't you just love wedding/prom/graduation season? It must surely account for 95 percent of regrettable dress purchases every year. I'm sure the Satin-Acetate Makers Union thanks you all.

In need of style advice? Send all queries to Miss Pinkie Shears, San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St., SF, 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the June 29-July 12, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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