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[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

A little birdie whispered in my ear that a certain bar in the fashionable Mission appeared to be hosting a cotillion this past week. How things change! To mark the little shifts from this to that, I feel compelled to create a short local geography quiz culled from my assistant Pruscilla's own fleeting memories of the past few years on the 16th Street corridor. She's been feeling more than just a touch low due to the sudden demise of her spring love affair with the vegetarian candle maker. (He was married, the brute!) I must do whatever I can do to bring back a bit of color to her bereft countenance. So please entertain yourself with the following questions and send your thoughts to Pruscilla in her time of trial. (Free San Francisco Metropolitan subscription to our winner.)

1. Name two businesses that occupied the same site prior to:
a. Timo
b. Das Pussycat
c. Greenhaven (now gone) d. Bitterroot

2. Where is Bird Street?

3. What once occupied the site of the Mission Police Station and who used it?

4. At one point there were two short-lived theme restaurants--one on 16th Street, the other on Valencia. What were their names and descriptive taglines?

Just as the aforementioned restaurants were contemporary in their rise and fall, it puts me in mind of the concept trends. Many people ask me what signifies the difference between a short-lived trend and a greater change in fashion or lifestyle. My advice often depends on the media. If a morning news program host refers to X Hot! with a toothy smile, or a glossy magazine has X on the must-haves list for summer, avoid, shun and disparage X. Remember, these people are stupid.

Start or appropriate a trend but never follow one. Followers tend to be weak-minded and unattractive. And if you see one of your acquaintances fall prey to something like collecting those oddly unenchanting Beanie Babies, wearing pantyhose hats or using computers, simply take the offending item and destroy it, with fire, directly in front of them, while calmly explaining their error. It is the job of every caring individual to try and save the world.

In need of style advice? Send all queries and quiz answers to Miss Pinkie Shears, San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St., SF, 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the July 13-26, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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