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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Dear Pinkie,
What do you think the best thing to wear to a barbecue is? I just moved to SF, and I just don't get this summer weather. Half of me is cold half the time. Is the beach here even worth going to?
Mr. Whether-or-not

Dear Whether,
Every San Franciscan can tell you: "Wear layers." I'm a little bored with this. Especially for the beach and outdoor parties, I say, "Bring blankets." People might scoff at your homeless-cocoon chic, but trust me, they are just jealous. Make sure the blankets look like blankets. Unless you're stumbling across a moor, capes are best left to those with more experience. And please avoid the temptation to use or make a hole in the blanket in which to insert your head. Ponchos are strictly a work-related garment and should not be used for leisure activities.

Dear Pinkie,
I was buying brickettes and I read on the checkout line and the paper said you had caused some international-type problems that really embarrassed your dad and we thought it sounded pretty cool. We have a club that meets to do fire stuff if you're interested.
Mike, President

Dear Mr. President,
As my Nanny Li is still with us, and I sincerely believe in telling the truth when it cannot be safely avoided without the potential embarrassment of eventual exposure, I will admit I did have a penchant for matches as a young girl. After several "incidents" (as Nanny likes to so understatedly refer to them), my pony Agni helped me see it was the thought--not the lighting--of fire I found fascinating. So, thank you, but no. Maybe your club could meet to do English stuff as well.

Miss Pinkie's Pointers:
If you are on a plane traveling to some glorious location for your summer holiday and a baby seated near you picks these first few hours of your rest to start its unabated screaming, simply outwail the child. Ultimate success will make the baby realize that it is not the only person in the world (babies do tend toward the self-centered), embarrass the parents, amuse fellow passengers and get you free cocktails and a seat in first class right next to me.
Bon chance.

In need of style advice? Send all queries to Miss Pinkie Shears, San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St., SF, 94107.

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From the July 27-Aug. 9, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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