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[whitespace] Tara

Tara Finds God (Lots of Them)

Dear Tara,
My fiancé is a Sikh, and I'm a Mormon. My enormous family would kill me if I converted, and his family has already threatened to disown him if he does. I really love this guy. Tara, you're a woman of the world, what do you think I should do?
Signed, Can't We All Just Get Along?

Dear Can't We,
Sister, you and your sweetie are surfing atop the tidal wave of cross-culturalism that's about to slam into boring old Planet Earth, and I say: Banzai! Y'all are the collage artists of the new world, making glorious new arts and crafts out of history's legacies. Like a pine cone covered with birdseed and peanut butter, you can combine the different to attract the alive. Make up your own reality and be a Mormo-Sikh, just like I am a Judeo-Buddhist Witch, and my friend Kirsten is a Tantric Baptist Sunday-school teacher (and high priestess of Kali). And your children! They'll be true Tomorrow People.

You may not get presents from either of your families, but if you play your cards right, you could get Benetton to underwrite the entire wedding.

Now, since most religions are built on xenophobic hatred of one another, you will have to do a lot of editing as you mix and match. You wouldn't want your lovable little Mormo-Sikh kids, for instance, to spend their time playing Holy War against each other or perhaps taking themselves hostage. Stick to wholesome activities during family time--like baking holiday cookies. If Mormo-Sikhs have strict dietary restrictions you choose to observe, skip the cookies and just make ice, holiday ice: freeze water into festive, decorative shapes.

You see, hon, it's all about using your ingenuity. The existing religions are like old dinosaurs who don't know their time has come. Let's get out there and start some new traditions.

Hope that helps!
Tara "Esther Karma Moon Eagle" Limbaugh


Can't get enough of that crazy Miss T? Well, check out The Most Spiritual Show Ever! site, where you'll find New Video Adventures Each Week! And your video horoscope!

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From the August 10-23, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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