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[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

So, like, what's up with Miss Pinkie Shears? Is she a drag queen or what? And are those questions made up or really from readers? Drag or not, she's funny, haughty, proper and has this Dr. Ruth-for-fashion thing going on. I like when she features questions from people with her answers rather than paragraphs on topics that have nothing to do with fashion and style. I want to read real fashion and style advice on questions like, How many times can you wear a skirt before needing to wash it? Is it OK to wear sleeveless shirts to your office job when you don't shave your armpits? And, how long should you wait around if your appointment/date is late? Fifteen, 30 minutes or what?
--Angela Freedman, San Francisco

Dear Ms. Freedman
Compliments, however indirect, are always appreciated. But what is this obsession with "real"? Everyone is so concerned that my column may or may not contain "real" letters. I think this energy could be better directed at politicians, infomercials or Skittles. I would also like to add that some days it's only the loons, weirdoes and wackos who have any time to write. As to your drag-queen issue--if it makes you feel better to think so, I will just cultivate this air of mystery and refer you back to the "what is this obsession with 'real'?" portion of this letter. I'm sorry you can't appreciate my musings on topics "that have nothing to do with fashion and style," but until you wrote, I had no idea there were such things.

To answer one of your questions, there are several key points in determining the status of a skirt. Always examine the skirt in daylight before you put it on. I know no woman who can see below her ass by turning her head. Red flags include excessive stiffness or softness and a lingering sense of uneasiness after handling the garment. Spot washing is perfectly acceptable and preferred over unnecessary dry cleaning. I favor gentle washing by hand and a good iron over chemicals and sloth. If you've sat in béarnaise, wash the skirt immediately. If you've slept in it, you may not wear it again, ever. Your remaining questions will have to wait until next time.

In need of advice? Send all queries and comments to Miss Pinkie Shears at San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St, San Francisco, CA 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the August 24-September 6, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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