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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Continuing with the questions from Ms. Angela Freedman's letter: Is it OK to wear to your office job sleeveless shirts when you don't shave your armpits? And how long should you wait around when your appointment/date is late? Fifteen, minutes, 30 minutes or what?

Both of these questions involve a myriad of factors. One circumstance may differ quite considerably from another. As with all questions of etiquette, one should use common sense. Some of my readers lack, in varying amounts, this quality. Here is a template marking the more significant points.

I do not believe in sleeveless shirts for the office environment. The four extra inches of fabric in a short-sleeved shirt avoids all offense and creates no significant temperature difference. If you must wear one, consider the following: Never wear a sleeveless shirt if you feel the least bit self-conscious in a sleeveless shirt. Chances are your instincts are correct. No one is interested in confronting your armpits in any state of hairiness. Stubble and caked-on deodorant are repellent. Armpit hair should be clean and fluffy, never sweaty and clumpy. Shaved armpits should appear like the surrounding skin. If your job entails any reaching, never even consider a sleeveless shirt. Remember that hermetically sealed office building are notorious for cultivating mold and fungus in their ventilation systems. You must consider the health of yourself and your fellow workers when making fashion choices. Two final points: For the love of God, don't smell like your deodorant and don't ruin the illusion of expensively colored hair with mousy brown armpits.

When you are waiting to meet for a social engagement, first you must check your SAC: Safety, Amusement and Comfort. If anyone of these three is lacking, it's time to run along. However, you must also consider what form of transportation your date is using, and what his/her track record (if any) is. If you find yourself waiting for a bus rider, you must realize that your plans may be thrown off by hours. If your date is perpetually 20 minutes late, and you've arrived on time at the appointed place, then clearly you have only yourself to blame. Many people feel unable simply to eat or attend a movie alone. Pishposh! This is your night out, too, and there is no sense in spoiling it because your compatriot is tardy. An appointment with a business acquaintance can be measured in your need to see the person, your ability to contact their office while waiting and your SAC. Thirty minutes will absolve you of any guilt if you are under obligation.

In need of advice? Send all queries and comments to Miss Pinkie Shears at San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St, San Francisco, CA 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the September 7-20, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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