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Tara's Advice

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Tara Talks Pubescent Angst

Dear Tara,
What gives? It seems like every time I'm around people I don't like, an appliance explodes, bookcases topple over, pictures fall and plates kamikaze into walls on the other side of the room! Even animals seem to freak, when I'm around. What should I do?
Signed, Eye of the Hurricane

P.S. I am a severely emotionally disturbed teenager.

Dear Eye,
If you had spent more times with the collected works of Stephen King, you'd know that you're attracting poltergeists. There's something about that combo of puberty and angst that "noisy spirits" find irresistible! But hey, be proud! You're part of a lineage of paranormal youth that includes the infamous Carrie, as well as the two older kids from Different Strokes. Mazel tov! Now, before you get locked into an institution where the government will lobotomize you to be their new top-secret weapon, get out there and live a little. Who's going to stop you? If you just spook-nuke them every once in awhile, your folks, your guidance counselor and those bullies at school will all think twice before steppin' on you.

In fact, now is the perfect time to get back at anyone who ever made you feel slightly less than wonderful. You have a gift, Eye, use it. For God's sake, look at your situation. You're an angry teen with a chip on your shoulder and the powers of Hell at your side--the world is your oyster!
Peace out, Tara


Can't get enough of Miss T? Well, check out her "Most Spiritual Show Ever," where you'll find new video adventures each week, and your video horoscope!

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From the October 5-18, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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