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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Dear Pinkie Shears,
I'm a publisher at a magazine who wears funky suits with colorful shirts. This morning I was forced to wear white socks with dark shoes and pants because my girlfriend didn't do the laundry like she promised. My employees have been teasing me mercilessly all day. Should I just tell them to go screw themselves or what?
--The Bossman, San Francisco

Dear Bossman,
My first two recommendations, Bossman, are to see a professional dominatrix and to give up the last remnants of your affinity for Bruce Springsteen--even though you thought you did this a decade ago. You sound entirely too devoted to your uniform. However wild it may be, it sounds like it has become a bit rote if you can so easily distill your style in one unfortunate sentence. I have passed the second sentence of your letter on to Gloria Steinem. I certainly think you should tell them all "to go screw themselves"--but in a nice way. It is never seemly for the Bossman to act rudely. Be thankful that, at least in this instance, they are making fun of you to your face.

Hey Miss Pinkie,
I just moved here from a small town in Maine called Casco where the people wear L.L. Bean and Dexter's docksiders, and everything is cool. But now that I'm living in SF, I'd like to change my look. How can I break into the style scene here? What kind of look should I go for if I like the outdoors but work in the financial district?
--Desperately Needing to Discard L.L. Bean

Hey Hillbilly,
Here are your choices: (1) Don't change. Face the fact that you're resort rustic and dress like it. (2) Update your look and follow the path of least resistance by swapping Dexter for Teva and L.L. Bean for Patagonia and North Face--and buy your suits at Brooks Brothers and Nordstrom. (As if that isn't the most miserable idea I've ever presented!) (3) Develop your own style. Be aware of what others around you are wearing. Be discriminating; what do you like and dislike? Ask people where they shop. Above all, challenge yourself and don't just think that you must fit in. Whatever your choices, please be conscious of why and to what end you made them.

In need of advice? Send all queries and comments to Miss Pinkie Shears at San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St, San Francisco, CA 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the October 19-November 1, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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