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Fashion Advice

[whitespace] Miss Pinkie Shears

Miss Pinkie Shears

Dear Pinkie,
I'm at my wits end. My 13-year-old son likes to wear makeup and platform shoes. I'm not an unhip mother and I'm all for self- expression, but I'm afraid for his safety. What should I do?
-- Mindful Mom

Dear M.M.,
Make sure your child is able to run--in anything. If this means breaking into the track in the middle of the night to better his lap time, so be it. Once you are satisfied that he can perform over a good distance in a respectable time, move on to wind sprints over broken glass. Regardless of choices in fashion or anything else, one cannot please all the people all of the time (nor should one ever want to)--ergo, danger is a fact of life whether one was raised by wolves or the Hearsts.

Dear Pinkie,
What do you think about tattoos? Everybody seems to have at least one these days, but unlike baby-blue eye shadow or "Who cares what Frankie says?" T-shirts, they can't be simply taken off when you regret their presence. Do you have one?
-- Jason of the Maori Enhanced Shoulder

Dear Jason,
Regret is a sad, ugly thing. Do you wake up some mornings and wonder what your kinship with the Maori is exactly? Do you think "But my tribe is Web/Tech Support?" I think tattoos can be beautiful--just not as novelties. (Unless one is deeply committed to Novelty.) No one wants to see a tattoo that looks like an embarrassing teen diary entry. The only thing that can really help an ill-considered tattoo is another--proving that, at least, you are crazy enough to have done it again. As for myself, you can probably guess that tattoos were not the rage when I was growing up--especially for women. I do think "Live Fast, Die Young" has a pleasant, if impotent, ring to it. My personal plea for the season is that at some time between the Blue Angels and the Exotic Erotic Ball, I hope at least one iota of shockingly good taste will fall like manna from the sky.


In need of advice? Send all queries and comments to Miss Pinkie Shears at San Francisco Metropolitan, 1776A 18th St, San Francisco, 94107. Miss Shears cannot be reached by phone.

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From the November 2-15, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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