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Tara's Advice

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Tara on Aging Love

Dear Tara,
I just turned 19, and my partner is 62--no shit. What do you think? Can we make this crazy love of ours work?
Signed, Robbing the Casket

Dear Rob,
In my book, aging is right up there with leaves turning gold in fall in the category of beautiful natural processes. Old people are treasures, and we should all spend as much time with them as possible. A 60-year-old is simply a better person than a 50-year-old, and an 80-year-old is better still. Personally, I hope I live till I'm so old I shrivel up like a little cricket. People will worship me like a god, and I'll live in an enormous palace made of gleaming black marble. Whatever I say, no matter how trivial, will become a precious proverb. These Metropolitan columns will be studied like the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Rob, I see no reason why you and your honey can't enjoy a long and passionate relationship. The orgasms you two will share will have you crying out, "Now I know why I have genitals!" And the things your lover will say will be so learned and wise you'll gasp: "Omigod, you are like so smart. Is your last name Plato?"

The elderly Cupid's final secret: enjoy your soak in the hot tub that is intergenerational love.

Can't get enough of Miss T? Well, check out her "Most Spiritual Show Ever," where you'll find new video adventures each week, and your video horoscope!

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From the November 16-29, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

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