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Drunks Deluxe

Smirnoff adds a Martha Stewart touch to alcoholism

By Michael Stabile

Someone at Smirnoff wasn't satisfied with sangria. Too hard to get drunk off of or something. So they have come up with their own fruit punch which falls somewhere between a mint julep and that deadly "Purple Jesus" concoction from college involving grain alcohol, Kool Aid and apples.

Smirnoff, the leading purveyor of vodka to the world--or such is their claim--offers a special container within which one may stuff a lot of fruit, a good amount of sugar and all the vodka the $14.99 container can handle. (You could probably use another, higher-end vodka, but no one would know with the Smirnoff label unremovably placed on the container.) The result is a potent citrus infusion that knocks you on the floor. Happy Holidays (hiccup)! You can get clean and sober for the new year .

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From the December 20, 1999 issue of the Metropolitan.

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