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Important events as reported by daily newspapers and summarized by Daedalus Howell

Tuesday 03.06.01

A coyote killed a Mill Valley family dog in what the Marin Humane Society said was the first documented coyote attack on a pet in Marin County in at least 30 years, reports the IJ. The pet, a 12-pound bichon frisé curly lap dog named Cassie (Canis familiaris idioticus) was asking for it, according to supporters of the coyote (Canis killis pro forma). "This is really sort of a freak first-time incident that really reminds us to be careful when living close to wildlife," said Marissa Miller, a Humane Society spokeswoman. An anvil, packaging from the Acme Co., and a copy of Darwin's Origin of Species were found at the scene.

Tuesday 03.06.01

The Sonoma Index Tribune reports that a man was cited for unlawful possession of nunchakus after being pulled over by Sonoma City Police for not having a license plate. When the driver could not provide proof of registration, the officer caught "an unobstructed view of the nunchakus," apparently sparing the use of his X-ray vision. The suspect, Robert Neal Jr., though some call him Bruce, was cited for felony possession of a weapon with a name that cannot be spelled with a fifth-grade education.

Monday 03.05.01

The DARE--Drug Abuse Resistance Education (sometimes known as Dude, Acquiring Ritalin is Easy)--program used in 30 Sonoma County schools is coming under increasing fire because recent academic studies and government reports show it has marginal, if any, long-term effects on drug use, according to the Press Democrat. "Just Say No hasn't worked," said Bill Alden, a retired Drug Enforcement Administration agent who serves as deputy director of DARE America Inc. "It's too simplistic for kids today." Indeed, today's savvy children need more than an acronym or pithy aphorism to divert them from the Devil's candy--they need whole sentences, perhaps, dare I say, even paragraphs. Many critics believe DARE is a "gateway program" that can lead to harder, 12-step style programs--or even jail.

Sunday 03.04.01

Boudoir pornographers the world over owe a debt to George W. Wheelwright III, co-founder of the company that became the Polaroid Corp., who died Thursday at the Marin Convalescent Center in Tiburon at the age of 97. Wheelwright founded Polaroid with Edwin H. Land, a scientist whose ideas for a lens that could polarize light formed the technological underpinnings of glare-free sunglasses and later of instant photography, according to the Marin Independent Journal. Wheelwright's contribution rendered embarrassing trips to the Fotomat unnecessary and was the amateur smut-maker's tool of choice before the advent of digital photography. Remember, it's impolite to say "Cheese" with your mouth full.

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From the March 8-14, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

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