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The F Stops Here

Beth Regardz
Beth Regardz teaches computer science at Cabrillo College. She is the co-founder of India Joze restaurant and is co-author of The Calamari Cookbook.

Beth Regardz

Culinary diva Beth Regardz would love to have all her friends over for a barbecue when she dies. "And I want a certain sauce on me, but I haven't decided which one." Oh. That kind of barbecue. No chicken, no pork, just slow-roasted Regardz.

She admits to a few practical problems with her final wishes. "I think it's illegal. It smacks of cannibalism, but I think if you don't kill the meat it's different, isn't it?"artist Regardz muses.

"And the meat might not be that good," she adds, "Although it's well-marbled."

Now Regardz is really, ahem, cooking with this idea. "Why not? It's such a culinary community!" Regardz would theme this barbecue around a luau, a popular choice among Santa Cruz notables. With enough forewarning, she would pick a "designated costumer"--sort of like a designated driver--to see that everyone comes in appropriate luau dress.

After the coals die down and everyone has left sated, where does Regardz think she'll go? "Heaven is right here," she says. "I want to make this time as rich as possible."

But she wants her remains to continue giving. Her bones would enrich the earth, her organs would live on in others. And the rest of the meat? "I like the idea of cremation, but in the end, I prefer grilled, not charred."

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From the Oct. 30-Nov. 5, 1997 issue of Metro Santa Cruz.

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