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Wiseacre Acre

Every year they surface in the Reader's Survey: the kids who gave the teacher hell, who grew up to become hecklers in comedy clubs and talk back to cops when they get pulled over. Or maybe they're novice smart-alecks, chirping up with a tentative third-finger salute to authority from the safety of a write-in response. Anyway, whoever they are and however long they've been mouthing off, we love 'em come ballot-counting time. They break up the fearsome monotony of making hashmarks on tally sheets and give the Metro worker bees something to buzz about during those long hours. Here are a few of the more colorful responses that flooded our mailbox this year. Best Place to Disco: In the privacy of your own home Best Place to Meet Someone: I wouldn't know. Chicks hate me. Best Lesbian Bar: SJSU volleyball party Best Place to Take Adults for Free: Bed Best Adrenaline Rush: First place: Masturbating in church Second place: Willow Glen Yoga Best Toy Store: First Place: Leathermasters Second place: Ferrari of Los Gatos Best New Book Store: Books, huh? Best Place to Impress a Visitor: Pink Poodle [ San Jose | Metroactive Central | Archives ]