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[whitespace] For the Jerks Who Have Everything

Help! Celebrities have taken over Metro Santa Cruz's annual gift guide and they want you to know what they want for Christmas

FOR SOME OF US, "holly" and "jolly" are close to, but not exactly, the words that come to mind to describe this year's economically dreary holiday season. But you can't go around singing "Have a 'rotten,' 'appalling' Christmas (or Kwanzaa or Chanukah)" if you expect to see that next-generation Game Boy stuffed up your stocking come the end of December ... and, we here at Metro Santa Cruz are far from humbugs. Clearly, therefore, this year calls for some serious assistance in the getting-in-the-spirit department. So we've called in the big guns.

In this issue, none other than "celebrity guest columnists" Snoop Dogg, Winona Ryder, J-Lo (hey, she shops locally), Johnny "Jackass" Knoxville--and more!--will advise you--and you alone!--on what to buy for the holidays. Each of these megastars offers up a wish list, chock-full of useful consumer information on where to buy, what to pay and how many times to pester your loved ones before giving up and posting to www.bemysugardaddy.com.

In these pages, you will find advice on unusual items guaranteed to put the shine back in your gift giving. What's that--you're on a budget? Just remember the rule of thumb for the new economy: Give until it hurts, and then blame a Democrat.

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Girl, Indicted: Winona Ryder's guide to a cost-free Christmas.

Holidaze: 'Jackass' Johnny Knoxville's hit hist for a hell-raising season.

Ben Naughty: J-Lo's wish list for a perfectly scandalous Christmas.

Victoria Beckham's Secret: Posh Spice's guide to kidnapping- and identity-theft-prevention gifts.

Nuttin' But a 'Gift' Thang: What do you get a Dogg who gave up dope? Hella stuff, fool!

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From the November 27-December 4, 2002 issue of Metro Santa Cruz.

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