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[whitespace] Snoop Dogg Nuttin' But a 'Gift' Thang

What do you get a Dogg who gave up dope? Hella stuff, fool!

By Todd Inoue, posing as Snoop Dogg

There's no other rapper more associated with marijuana and alcohol than Long Beach's Snoop Dogg. Songs like "Gin 'N' Juice" and "Hennessey 'N' Buddha" pushed Snoop (a.k.a. Calvin Broadus) to national smokesperson status. He even hired a blunt roller whose sole occupation was to procure, roll and take ownership of all smokable products. But in September, Snoop announced that he had stopped smoking reefer and drinking alcohol. He wanted to set a better example to his kids and "get high on life."

His lifestyle change may have come too late. Snoop's role in the upcoming A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie was cut. The producers blamed time constraints, but it could very well be complaints about Snoop's ties to marijuana, gangs and pornography. Don't expect Kermit and Miss Piggy to c-walk into a cameo in Snoop's wildly popular adult video line. With titles like Doggystyle, Girls Gone Wild Doggy Style and Snoop Dogg's Hustlaz: Diary of a Pimp, Snoop's got his fingers in multiple pies.

We checked in with Snoop during his recent Boo Bomb stop, and he gave us his holiday wish list. His choices reflect his new-found sobriety, sort of, which shows you can take the player out of the game, but you can't take the game out of the player.

What's craculatin' Metreezy. Snoop D-O-double G up in the heezy fasheezy. My new album, Paid the Cost to Be Tha Boss, comes out Nov. 26. Cop that shit when it drops. Ya'll heard I stopped smoking weed and sipping gin 'n' juice. It's true. It's been a hard couple months, but I still love performing all those old songs in concert. They're my heart. So to stay focused, I've been involved with my other projects--my music, my Snoop Dogg clothing line and my porn DVDs. Just because a player can't get baked no more doesn't mean he can't have fun, ya feel me?

HomeChef Cooking Classes: Since I kicked herb to the curb, I've been applying myself to other uses of more traditional herbs in daily life. Kurupt hit me to HomeChef cooking school over at Wessstgate in South Central Saratoga. Right now, the school is pushing all levels of holiday kitchen pimpology: English Christmas, holiday cookies, American one-dishes, holiday buffets, gingerbread houses. That's just in December, fool! A gift certificate is the perfect solution for the gangsta who thinks haute cuisine is a frozen burrito with boosted Taco Bell hot sauce.

Where to get it: HomeChef Saratoga; holla at them at 408.374.3191

'Who Says Elephants Can't Dance?': A hustler needs to stay ahead of the game, and the game is to be sold, not told. Warren G. hipped me to this cat Louis V. Gerstner, who is a bigger mack than Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Steven Jobs or any of dem ho's combined. Dude turned that computer company (IBM-ed.) around and wrote a book about it. Who Says Elephants Can't Dance? (Harper Business) is on some straight gangsta shit. Gerstner took a bunch of raggedy-ass employees and raised his pimp hand, and now they're clocking mad green. I'm feeling this fool and so are Amazon buyers, who made his drop No. 1 two weeks ago. He's the Tony Montana of technology, next-level mack dad.

Where to get it: Amazon.com, various bookstores, $27.95

Ted Nugent's 'Adventure Outdoors' Magazine: I canceled my High Times subscription, so in its place is Ted Nugent's Adventure Outdoors I got magazine. Nuge and me are on the same level. He loves guns and doesn't take drugs or drink, and he still parties like a motherfucka. When I was on tour in Detroit, me and my crew stopped by Nuge's crib. He has a rifle range in his backyard, and we were popping caps and comparing pieces. Fool hit me off to his mag, and what can I say, I was hooked. It's replaced Black Tail and Juggs in the tour bus bathroom.

Where to get it: www.tednugent.com, $30 for a one-year subscription

Madden NFL 2003: Speaking of the tour bus, some fools don't know how to act. After the show, all these tricks are trying to get their game on, messing with the controllers and playing wack games like Shinobi. If there's one game I really want for Christmas it's Madden NFL 2003 (EA Sports). John Madden and Al Michaels provide all the play-by-play as it's happening. The players are faster, and you can run all kinds of formations. But why is Marshall Faulk's gimpy ass on the box cover? Why couldn't they put Charlie Garner up in there? It's like, damn!

Where to get it: Fry's, Best Buy, $49.99

'Peanuts: The Art of Charles M. Schultz': Dat Nigga Daz just said that Peanuts: The Art of Charles M. Schultz (Pantheon) should be on my list, but I get so much Peanuts shit thrown at me on stage, it'll just bring back bad trips. But I feel Snoopy--he was one cool-ass dog, ya feel? I'm out of here like I stole something. From Snoop Dogg and all the Dogg Pound Gangstaz and Doggy's Angels family, we say Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa to you all, BEOTCH!

Where to get it: You local independent bookseller and chains, $29.99


For the Jerks Who Have Everything: Help! Celebrities have taken over Metro Santa Cruz's annual gift guide and they want you to know what they want for Christmas.

Girl, Indicted: Winona Ryder's guide to a cost-free Christmas.

Holidaze: 'Jackass' Johnny Knoxville's hit hist for a hell-raising season.

Ben Naughty: J-Lo's wish list for a perfectly scandalous Christmas.

Victoria Beckham's Secret: Posh Spice's guide to kidnapping- and identity-theft-prevention gifts.


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From the November 27-December 4, 2002 issue of Metro Santa Cruz.

Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc. Maintained by Boulevards New Media.

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