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A Piece of God's Ass

By Kylie Mendonca

For a paltry $300, North Bay residents can buy a piece of late bike guru Sheldon Brown, or at least a piece of a bike that was once very, very close to him. Brown (1944–2008) was considered by many bike tinkerers and bike nerds to be the source for the most obscure and arcane information about bike mechanics, through his website A May 2 Craigslist ad offers buyers the chance to own a rare "esoteric bike gem with great history," once owned by Brown. What could it be? A wrench gripped by Brown's capable hand? A water bottle that touched his wise lips? Is that creepy? Yes. But probably not as disturbing as the actual relic up for sale: a Brooks saddle. That's a high-quality leather bike seat, the kind that ordinarily retails new for less than $100 but which had presumably been molded into the shape of Brown's own godly ass and baptized in his sweet, saintly ball sweat. Only $300. Skeptics, calling for proof of ownership, need not send for a DNA test, 'cause the saddle comes with a letter of authenticity from Brown's widow. The seat's legit. "Please no low balling," the ad warns.

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