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I Saw You

Attn: Schmuck, c/o Apple Store

I know I shouldn't have told you to go fuck yourself and stormed out of the store. You were such a condescending schmuck, sneering as if I was some lowlife who didn't belong on your designer logo street. I was waiting at the downtown Palo Alto Apple Store counter for the taller of two Genius Dudes so I could ask a quick, simple question. It seemed as if you were waiting for the other Genius Dude. When I started to ask Tall Dude a question, you belted, "Excuse me, I was here first!" as if I had intentionally tried to delay your life plan by 30 seconds — rather than being someone who would have graciously extended all courtesies had I known you had laid claim to both Genius Dudes. I felt bad for telling you off and stomping out of the store, so I set out to apologize in print. But after having a calm opportunity to reflect on the experience, my feelings about you and your attitude haven't changed. If you want to know how I still feel, please refer to opening sentence.

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