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I Saw You
Not to Be Rude but ...
Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence with "I don't want to be rude but ... ," then they proceed to say something extremely rude? Well, not to be mean but the reason I am not dating you may be because you need to ... Stop spiking your hair above an inch, posing, dressing up your dog, driving your sports car like a sissy lala, folding a hundo around all ones and referring to yourself as a "Baller," asking to see the wine list when you know damn well you are going to order whatever bottle is cheapest, stop saying you love the beach then bitching about the sand. Stop telling me your boring stories with your mouthful of food, and the fact that nobody "gets you" does not make you an artist. You are just a few freakin' clowns short of a circus, and if you go through my little black book, I could run a pretty lame circus! Stop driving with your blinker on and, please, never dye your hair a color where you have to bleach it first. If your jeans are designer, and your shirt is designer and I don't call you back, you probably also violated the previous don'ts! But seriously, I am not trying to be mean, I'm just sayin'.
SEND US your anonymous rants, raves, gripes and diatribes about your co-workers, bosses, enemies or any badly behaving citizen who rankles your ire—or about citizens you admire. Send to: I SAW YOU, Metro, 550 S. First St., San Jose, 95113, or via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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